I'm well aware that there are "big girls" who are perfectly happy with their size and weight. But then there are those of us who are fighting the steady increase in weight who find that our larger size affects all different areas of our lives from how we put on makeup to the clothing we wear. Some of us used to be confident and had no problems with sex with the lights on, then that middle age spread crept in and that confidence flew out the window.
Surely you've heard that if you don't love yourself no one else will, that is also the same for your body. Unless you can tap into your confidence and sexiness your additional weight may have a negative impact on your sex life.
It's important to remember that the weight has crept up on you, surprising you as you moved through size after size, it's happened slowly. That means that your lover has become accustomed to it as well. It's not like you were a trim 130 pounds one day and ballooned up to 200 pounds overnight.
It can be difficult to feel sexy or even work up any enthusiasm for sex when you feel inadequate, frumpy, flabby...FAT! It's really sad to not be able to take advantage of some positions due to your shape. BUT, you can fix it. The first step is to figure out what you want.
Do you want to lose pounds? Inches? Would you be happy with your body if it were firmer? Some of us want the trim svelte bodies we used to have- others are fine with their bodies but want to make sure that we are in shape and active enough to have a passionate sex life. Choose a healthy diet, get some exercise and you'll feel as if you're doing something rather than simply accepting the extra weight, whether you get instant results or not the act of making an effort will increase your confidence and help your sex life heat back up.
One of the most painful moments for me has been finding that not only have I outgrown my clothing but realizing that a skimpy nightie just doesn't look as good with a roll of fat around the middle, or the straps so tight they make mountains and valleys on my shoulders. Gone are the days of being able to slip into anything, and rock it! These days it's often a matter of comfort. Luckily there are companies that cater to larger sizes and have lots of sexy clothing. If you really want a boost of confidence, try putting on a nightie that is made for YOUR size, that fits well, accentuates your (possibly) larger breasts and supports them for maximum cleavage. Find something that doesn't emphasize the spare tire or the larger hips and you'll find that no matter what your size- you can feel sexy!
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